How I almost hung up on who I truly am.

First of all, let me start with a selfie.

Today.

Just because this is a post about the latest thing I figured it works for me.
I'm not sure why would you be interested in it, but if you try it for yourself and it does work, leave me a comment.

 Also with my favorite song, which kinda sets the mood for the whole post;

A brief introduction:
I lived in exclusion, by my own initiative from the world since 2012.
It has been 6 years, I finally understood what's been wrong about me;

I stopped talking to myself: my creative ideas stopped flowing, my language skills dropped and my overall intelligence (not much, still valuable) also deceased (decreased).

I started doubting myself because of constant opinionated people in my life, going from "the world is mine" to "I'm a pathetic excuse of a person who's aiming for a mediocre life just because everyone else is doing it."
I said "I'm ready to surrender my dreams and settle. I'll get corrupted by jealousy, just like everyone else." But settle to who?
The person I like is committed and I've been alone FAR too long to turn myself in, just like that.
It's like, I can't see now, me with someone else from that perspective. 

I paid too close attention to what others were doing. I forgot how to human like myself.
I forgot how to do the things I love. I forgot how to be me.
I tried to blend in.
I stopped using make up because I thought it made me look too unsophisticated and dark for humanity, but it was really the accommodation, the conformity of being "forever ugly" that really made it sunk.
Let's face it; no one is perfect. You see someone on television, on youtube or wherever and think "they don't  have doubts about themselves." believe, they do.
Everyone has doubts about themselves, unless you're a narcissistic sociopath that thinks the world revolves around you.

The thing is, once you let these thoughts totally blow your mind, you're wasting yourself. Because opportunities will come knocking at your door and you'll neglect them because you're thinking "you're not capable."
You are capable. I'm going to quote something that at first, it might seem working against us, but you'll understand what I mean;

"There is always someone better than us."

That's a line from Supernatural.
Even though this is an evil truth, it also means that no matter where we go or what we do, there's also a chance that we are better than someone else. That's why comparing ourselves to others is wrong.
Imagine how the rest of the world would feel, if they starting comparing themselves to the Japanese; the clever-high tech, geeky, over gifted population of the world. We can't.

Don't doubt yourself. If you feel like you aren't ready to take an opportunity, THANK the ones who gave it to you and tell them that once you feel ready, you'll do it.
That's how manners are done.

Resuming this pep talk;
Here's the thing I love; my dreams. 
I should have never stopped chasing them in the first place.
Here's to all the people's opinions:  
They shouldn't be harassing people with it.


Personally, whether I stay or go, it's none of people's business.

Whether I go today or tomorrow, I realized the world sorts itself out and whatever has to stay, it will stay. 
Whatever goes, it's because it wasn't meant to stay, in the first place.

I hope everyone is happy. If not, chase after it.
And DON'T conform yourself.


Take care and be yourself!