9:50 am.

It's 9:50 am and I am staring at a blank page, thinking about what I am going to say on my first post, ever.
I've run blogs before, but let's just say that they failed. Miserably.

I've decided that this one is going to be completely spontaneous: meaning, I won't create texts to please anyone, but I am going to try to fit in and more importantly, keep this updated.
Not that anyone will read it, I believe.

I'm a part-time goth after all.

The term "part-time goth" came onto my mind whilst I was making fun of myself. Yeah, I do that a lot.
I work in a place where they don't allow us to have make-up, different hair colors or even painted nails. Because we work with unprepared food goods, they state that "nail polish can scrape on the thins of the coca-colas" (even though we use gloves), for example, and that the perfume can "pass on to the food" (even though it's practically everything wrapped up in plastic). So I'm basically allowed to wear deodorant (because I do), but most of my co-workers don't, and as we work on a relatively heavy job, we sweat. A LOT.
So you can imagine us getting closer and feeling that... Splendid smell of sweat that makes you want to puke.

Yesterday I was doing my nails and as I'm going on holidays I've pondered: "I'm gonna make them big and scary and BLACK... Loves me some black and fuck, it's HALLOWEEN." Something like this:

perfect10customnails @ instagram

But then I realized it wasn't much of use, because it's only 5 days (cheapshits, right?) meaning, I would have to take them out. Again. Such a waste of (expensive) material.

So I ended up doing them reaaaaaaaally small and transparent. Again, fitting in.

This is so depressing that even when I actually CAN use make up (since I only work part-time, that means 20H/week), I won't have any will to grab my make-up purse and apply it.
So I end up looking like this mongo who's an inner goth (and can't be anything else) trying to fit in.

*Radiohead's creep starts playing in the background*

But enough about appearance, what about personality?

There is also loads to talk about. *mockery voice* "work faster" or "get the eggs out of your armpits" or "you need to be cheerful and smile more" these are the things I hear on a daily basis.

Well HELLO. Obviously you don't know how I feel inside, OBVIOUSLY I didn't dress in all-black for the interview, OBVIOUSLY I didn't dress up in all black for a year now. OBVIOUSLY because you would think I'm a freak. There I am again, constantly and inevitably reminding myself about what people will think. It's not important. 

I don't want to work faster. I smile whenever I please. I hate homophobes.

I hate non-Straight Edge people who FUCKING INSIST that others SHOULD DRINK.

Not the point, but I deal with alcohol, daily and understand shit of it, other than it fucking stinks.

I think in general people should be more open minded. When they see a person wearing all black they associate with Satanic cultists (which aren't that bad to be honest) or assume that someday we will look like this: 

No idea who to credit to.

(Which also isn't bad, if you're doing it right) Or assume we're going to a funeral.

Well, they clearly have their wardrobe set in uniforms, because I fucking cannot conjugate colors and I fucking hate fashion in general sense.

I'm not sure if people noticed, but kids now a days dress all the same: High waist pants, crop tops and fucking Rapunzel locks: 

C: Amazon? IDK!

Boys like that, sure okay. Everywhere I look I end up seeing this:

That's someone called Maluma.

I'm not judging anyone because I'm not a judge, but you cannot say someone looks bad without looking in the mirror. 

Resuming this immense first post which I took about a hour and a half writing (had things to do in the middle like, eating cookies); on the next post I'm going to write about how I found myself. Or perhaps clothes. Not sure yet. One thing I know is: Plan nothing. 

Music of the day, to walk you through this post.

Please leave a comment and until next post, drink lots of this instead.